I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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