Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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