you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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