DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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