It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
