I'm laying in your front yard are you home
are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
