physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
