Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
