Christians are straight up FREAKS
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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