Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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