I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
