Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
