this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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