You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
