oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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