I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
