people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
