Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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