Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
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