Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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