you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
