Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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