He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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