i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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