Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
