party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
