It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
