I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
