What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
