You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
