"it" just moved
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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