"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
