I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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