We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
