i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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