kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
