ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
