did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
