first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize