Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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