I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
false alarm. still invincible.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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