yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You made out with two different species that night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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