he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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