Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize