Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
