Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
