weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
