the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
