I just made out with a guy for $7.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
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