You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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