How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
