oh god the rape fog is back!
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
