of course. lets lasso hookers.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
