so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
