That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
