You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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