My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
