4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
