i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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