Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
