Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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