What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
