Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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