i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
handjob tips. give me some.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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