Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
