what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
