If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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