gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
