you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
