I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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