You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
