Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
