well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
vagina is talking i cant
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
