so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
