My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
