Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
