You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
