ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
