We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
