I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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