Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
