when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
