I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Randomize
